Pony Of Prey Blog

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 28, 2003

How do I help a former friend let go of a friendship that’s not working for me?

This woman, I’ll call her “Anne,” is a life coach. We met last year and hit it off as friends. The problem for me is the vast majority of our conversation centered around Anne and her situation, particularly as it related to men. On and on these conversations would go about this guy or that. My honest feedback was not well received.

Prior to getting fed up with the lack of balance in our friendship, I invited her to speak at a conference I organized. The event took place last month, and Anne was just okay as a speaker. Reviews were mixed, but it was done.

Last night Anne left a message indicating she wanted me to be a referral for a potential client. I feel bad about recommending someone I no longer believe to be effective. How do I get off her calling list without being unkind?

Laurel

Laurel, in this situation truthfulness is more important than politeness. Politeness will get you more of what you don’t want more of.

Anne doesn’t take criticism, or the truth, well. She makes a good first impression, but she does not have the understanding she is trying to sell to others. Giving Anne what she wants makes you a co-conspirator with her, and that is an incongruity you cannot live with.

Just as your life must proceed from honesty, so must Anne’s. Tell Anne reviews of her performance don’t allow you to make a recommendation. If she takes offense, she is taking offense to the truth.

Tamara

Beating A Dead Horse

I am American and my husband British. We met while he lived and worked for two years in the US. When we became engaged, we discussed where we wanted to settle and that place is America. We both feel strongly about this.

We did, however, decide to move to the UK for two years for him to finish a few things and get his US green card. That is much easier to do abroad than at home, and we told his parents we would only be in the UK a short time.

My mother-in-law is a person who uses mind games to get her way. She has directly insulted America to me claiming everything from American greed to gun problems. She whines that her grandchildren will not be close to her, and she has even hung up the phone on my husband. She is a right brat!

I know it must be hard for her, and I understand, I really do. But we can’t always live around the corner, and I am starting to get angry. My husband told his family they are welcome to come stay with us for a month or longer at a time, but my mother-in-law said, “I don’t like to fly, and I don’t think I’ll like Texas!”

My husband knows his mother is a difficult woman, but he hates conflict and wants to keep the peace. My mom says keeping my cool is the best thing to do.

Kay

Kay, before you insult the royal family or British cuisine, remember your mom’s advice and keep your cool. Don’t argue with your mother-in-law. By the very act of arguing you are giving substance to her wishes. Arguing as if it is unsettled may make it unsettled.

When you give in to a difficult person, they don’t become more reasonable, they become more difficult. They think they are entitled to win all the time. Once you have moved, your mother-in-law can visit you, and if you can afford it, you can visit her.

Maybe she’ll even like Texas. Or maybe she will love to hate Texas. But either way your mother-in-law’s behavior sounds like a better argument for emigrating than for living around the corner.

Wayne

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

I am sure that most people who have a website are looking for an
increase in traffic and a higher page rank. This article will
give you free tips on how to do both.

Pay per click

Pay per click is a form of paid advertising. Programs such as
adwords from the search engine Google allow you to place an
advert on the right hand side of their search results. If you
are willing to pay a large amount of money per click you may
even be placed above the normal search results. It is important
to remember not to spend more on the adverts than you are likely
to recive in income.

Paid text adverts

Paid text adverts is another of way of gaining visitors to your
website and it also could increase your page rank. If the advert
is on a high ranking page, this may well on its own lead you to
moving up a level in your page rank. If the page has a large
number of traffic, this could also be traffic directed to your
website.

Writing articles

Writing articles like the one you are reading is another way of
gaining traffic and a higher page rank. People reading the
articles are potential visitors to your website. Other
webmasters are able to use the articles on their websites which
creates you a one way backward link. Google are more likely to
increase your page rank if you have a large number of backward
links, especially one way links.

Link exchange program

As I have just mentioned it is important to build up the number
of backward links your website has. Joining a link exchange
program such as linkmetro helps you to do this.

These marinated pork chops are bound to be a favorite for many great meals.

1 (12 oz.) can cola
1/4 cup soy sauce
3/4 teaspoon garlic powder
3/4 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 teaspoon ground mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
6 (3/4 inch) bone-in-pork loin chops

Directions

In a 2 cup measuring cup, combine the first seven ingredients; mix well. Pour 1-1/2 cups into a larger resealable plastic bag; add pork chop. Seal bag and turn to coat; refrigerate for 8 hour or overnight. Cover and refrigerate remaining marinade for basting.

Drain and discard marinade from pork. Grill, covered, over medium heat for 5 to 6 on each side or until meat juices run clear, basting with reserved marinade.

© Donna Monday
Earn a College Degree while watching TV!
www.online-distance-learning-careers.com

I would like for you to think on along with me Jerusalem, on
Calvary. The time of departure is April 7, A.D. Friday morning
from 1:00am to 9:00 am and this is where Jesus hung on the cross
until 3:00pm. (This is to my understanding, for I am not a
Theological Student at least not by man’s hands. When I share I
like to let others know please listen to Biblical teaching,
read, study for yourself as well I like to share scriptures with
my articles so others can read for themselves).

To be continued:

I will be sharing from the Book “Gospel” of John. This Gospel
was addressed to Christians. The history of the life of Christ,
with especial reference to His most important acts and
discourses.

Let’s look at Pilate making an honest confession, Christ’s Trial
and Christ’s Reply. (John 18:37, 38)

Pilate therefore, said unto him, Art thou a king then? Jesus
answered, Thou sayest that I am a king. To this end was I born,
and for this cause came I into the world, that I should bear
witness unto the truth. Every one that is of the truth heareth
my voice.

Truly Jesus was a master speaker and could could give testimony
for himself under any and all circumstances. He has just made a
statement of the kingdom of God, contrasting it with the
kingdoms of men, or the kingdoms of the world, and now he makes
a startling reply to Pilate’s sharp question, substaning the
idea of his Kingship. (John 18:37)

While reading Matthew 27:11 you will see Christ questioned, Mark
15:2 and Luke 23:3 you will see Christ replies.

Pilate saith unto him, What is truth? And when he had said this,
he went out again unto the Jews, and saith unto them, I find in
him no fault at all. (John 18:38 we see Christ’s Trial and
Pilate’s unwillingness to condemn).

Pilate feared men rather than God.

Pilate Desires to Release Jesus Christ (John 19:10-16)

Pilate now seems offended at the Christ’s silence. While the
charge against against him was found to be baseless, from which
he should have been vindicated and released, Jesus sought to
make no new revelations of himself.

Then saith Pilate unto him, Speakest thou not unto me? knowest
thou not that I have power to crucify thee, and have power to
release thee? (John 19:10 Christ’s Trial and Christ’s Silence).

The Prophecy Concerning Christ Death: Jesus answered, Thou
couldest have no power at all against me, except it were given
thee from above: therefore he that delivered me unto thee hath
the greater sin. (John 19:11)

More impressed than ever by this powerful statement, Pilate
again showed a desire to release Jesus.

And from thenceforth Pilate sought to release him: but the Jews
cried out, saying, If thou let this man go, thou art not
Caesar’s friend: whosoever maketh himself a king speaketh
against Caesar. (John 19:12 Christ’s Trial and They Demand
Jesus’s Condemnation).

Pilate prepared to give his judgement, taking his place in his
offical seat which stood on a tesselated pavement called
“Gabbatha.”

When Pilate therefore heard that saying, be brought Jesus forth,
and sat down in the judgment seat in a place that is called the
Pavement, but in the Hebrew, Gabbatha. ( John 19:13 Christ led
to Trial).

This decision was reached, it seems, about noon of the day,
which prepared for and terminated in the Paschal Supper.

And it was the preparation of the passover, and about the sixth
hour: and he saith unto the Jews, Behold your King! (John 19:14
Christ’s Trial and Outrages by the People).

The judge is now in the act of turning Jesus over to his enemies
to be crucified, notwithstanding his innocence.

But they cried out, Away with him, away with him, crucify him.
Pilate saith unto them, Shall I crucify your King? The chief
priests answered, We have no king but Caesar. (John 19:15
Christ’s Trial and They Demand Christ’s Condemnation).

Pilate could try men like Barabbas and keep the order; but the
fate which brought this mysterious prisoner to his attention and
judgment, offered nor suggested no solution to the problem which
he should solve. Pilate brought under weakness and delivered
Jesus Christ over to be crucifixed.

Then delivered he him therefore unto them to be crucified. And
they went forth into a place called the place of a skull, which
is called in the Hebrew Golgotha: (John 19:16 Christ’s Trial and
Christ Condemned).

When you review Matthew 27:32 and Mark 15:21 it has on record
Christ’s Crucifixion and Christ Bearing HIS Cross.

When you review Luke 23:36 it has on record Christ’s
Crucifixion, The Conduct of the People and How They Give HIM
Vinegar, Wine Mingled with Myrrh.

Jesus friends despaired at this time, lingering, however, in
silence around the cross, not knowing what do or what next to
expect, in this group his mother, Mary, and other friends were
numbered.

Now there stood by the cross of Jesus his mother, and his
mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Cleophas, and Mary Magdalene.
(John 19:25 Christ’s Reception By Men and The Ministry of Women).

John was Jesus close friend and beloved disciple and a few of
the women remained with the disciple. Jesus showed the deepest
concern for his mother and suggest John look after her like she
was his own.

When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing
by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy
son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from
that hour that disciple took her unto his own home. (John
19:26,27 Christ’s Crucifixion, Christ’s Words to Women who wept
for HIM).

Prophecy coming to pass. The suffering Messiah has fulfilled
this mission. Jesus sense of thirst was a sign that his spirit
was at rest. The flesh suffered while the spirit triumphed.

After this, Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished,
that the scripture might be fulfilled, saith, I thirst. Now
there was set a vessel full of vinegar: and they filled a spunge
with vinegar, and put it upon hyssop, and put it to his mouth.
(John 19:28,29 Christ’s Crucifixion, They Give Him Vinegar and
Wine Mingled with Myrrh).

Jesus knowing that all things were now accomplished with the
words, “It is finished.” Christ now bows his head and gives up
the ghost; the purpose of God in the history of man is
accomplished. God has revealed himself as love.

When Jesus therefore had received the vinegar, he said, It is
finished: and he bowed his head, and gave up the ghost. (John
19:30, Matthew 27:50, Mark 15:37, Luke 23:46 Christ’s Death).

Scripture text/reference taken from: KJV

The SouthWestern Company,KJV, Nashville, Tennessee, 1934
Edition, Copyright, 1895 by J R Jones, 1902 by J R Jones, 1926
by National Publishing

Special Arrangement New Testament, KJV, Midwestern Publishing
Co., Inc., Paducah, Kentucky, Copyright 1961, By Midwestern
Publishing Co., Inc.

Crusade @ Bible Publishers, Inc., KJV, 1970, Mt. Juliet,
Tennessee, USA, 37122