In this article I want to share a few ideas about mental preparation and some correspondence I recently recently received from subscribers to my self-defense newsletter. I’m hoping it will provide some context to your “self-defense readiness” and generate some thinking.
Self-Defense Performance Is The Result Of Mental Maps
I wrote about mental maps in “The Nuts And Bolts Of Awareness.”
Our awareness, understanding, decisions, predictions and behavior are directed by the “mental maps” we have about the way the world works. Our knowledge, beliefs, experience and habits are “packaged” in the form of mental maps (also called cognitive blueprints or schemas).
If those “maps” are detailed and accurate, you dramatically increase the probability of effective performance in high-stress situations.
If those maps are inaccurate, have gaps or are missing all together, you run the risk of an improper reaction, over reacting, under reacting or not reacting at all.
We have a term for that in self-defense training. Its called “NOT GOOD!”
Thinking Is Impaired By Stress
What makes matters worse is that people aren’t particularly “smart” in high-stress, urgent, threatening situations. At times like those, you are not operating in the same mental state that you are in while you sit here reading this article.
When the “Fight or Flight Response” (sympathetic nervous system) is activated, your ability to think creatively and logically is impaired. That increases the potential for confusion and mistakes during a dangerous situation.
Invest In Your Safety With Pre-Thinking and Debriefing
Science and psychology confirm that mental rehearsal or visualization has a huge impact on improving our physical and mental performance.
The good news is that self-defense encounters don’t happen often. The bad news is that self-defense encounters don’t happen often! Huh? Before you read that again, let me explain…
Its hard to “get good” at something that never happens. Unlike other activities requiring experience and skills development, you can’t rely on repeated exposure and previous events when preparing for a violent encounter. So how do you improve your self-defense effectiveness?
Physical practice is “part” of the answer… Especially, when you participate in role playing scenarios that simulate the types of situations that you might encounter. But even that isn’t enough to really get “street smart.”
What you need to do is create self-defense scenarios in your mind. You need to “pre-think” and decide in advance about what you would do in a critical situation BEFORE it happens.
Think about situations you are most concerned about or likely to encounter and what you would do if they did.
Don’t just leave it to luck. You can’t “worry about it when the time comes” and hope to perform effectively. Remember, your brain is impaired by stress, panic, and confusion! Without some sort of game plan, its unlikely that you will perform well.
The question to ask yourself is, “What would I do if… (and then insert your most likely or bothersome scenario).
Debriefing is what you do AFTER an incident or “close encounter.” Don’t just walk away from a threatening situation and hope that it never happens again. Think about it, analyze it and learn from it. Ask yourself two questions:
* What did I do right?
* What would I do differently if it happened again?
That way, even if you handled the incident poorly, you can benefit from it and improve your chances doing better if something similar happens in the future. That, my friend, is the essence of developing effective personal safety skills.
An Email Example Of Effective Debriefing
After reading my “Tough or Smart” article, a subscriber sent me an email about an incident he was involved in.
Even though things turned out OK, the experience continued to bother him and he found himself second guessing his actions and wondering if he should have done something differently.
He began to worry that if something similar happened again, he would be just as confused as he was the first time. As far as he was concerned, the incident was unresolved. I commend him for asking the questions and looking for answers.
If you don’t ask, you won’t know! Whether you reflect on the matter yourself or seek an outside opinion (as Joe did here), it is important to examine the event and learn from it.
Be careful however, about seeking the opinion of someone who does not have the background or qualifications to be offering you advice about anything!
You’ll get all kinds of “ham and eggers” more than willing to give you their off-the-wall advice about what THEY would have done… (you’ll see examples of “bad advice” in the correspondence below)
With his permission, I’ve included our correspondence in this newsletter. To protect his privacy, I’ll refer to him as “Joe.” (Pretty creative huh? 
I’d like you to read this correspondence from two perspectives:
First, read what happened and put yourself in his shoes… What would you do if the same thing happened to you?
Secondly, read it analytically and observe the “process” involved and the factors that impacted the situation. Stress, confusion, hesitation, second guessing?
Imagine the difference between a “prepared mind” and the mind of someone who thought that something like this would never happen.
OK… I’ll shut up now and let your read the emails:
================================================================
Hi Randy,
I just read your new article about “Efficiency” or “doing the right thing” and I found it very interesting.
I just wanted to ask your expert opinion about something that happened to me.
Some months ago, I was driving my car with my girlfriend at 10:30 pm through a main avenue. Being a working day the street was almost empty, although well illuminated. Suddenly, while driving into an intersection we saw a robbery in progress.
A robber was stealing the purse of a middle age woman who was with a young man. A few paces away, another robber was waiting for the first one on a motorcycle ready to drive away. (This is the standard operating procedure for robberies in my town). The first robber already had the purse and was running away, but the young man was pulling the purse, trying to recover it.
I thought for a moment to speed up and hit him with my car in order to abort the robbery but on a second, and very quick, thought I considered the following. a) I could hit both the robber and the victim. b) If I hit the robber and he was severely injured, or worse dead, the complications would be major. c) If I prevented his escape, he may be forced to fight back and might hurt the young man. d) I didn’t want to put my girlfriend in danger, if something unexpected happened. e) The purse wasn’t worth the danger.
Of course, I didn’t rationalize that much at that moment. It was just a quick thought like, “hitting him is dangerous for everybody, the purse wasn’t worth it”. So I let them run away with the purse and called the police, but I’m pretty sure they didn’t catch them.
After that I felt bad, since I thought that maybe I should have done something else to abort the robbery and help the victims. I was relatively safe in my car and was driving a 3000 pound weapon. A lot of people have since told me I should have hit him, and I felt a bit like a coward. I worried that I didn’t choose to do the right thing.
I know that I’m not a coward. In fact, on another occasion I have not avoided a fight with a man much heavier and bigger than me to protect my girlfriend, although I’m a very very very reasonable and passive person. But when me or my beloved are in danger, I don’t hesitate to face the problem. Just in that particular case I decided that the right thing was to let them go. And in fact, I still believe that it was the best course of action, although I still have my doubts.
So, I wanted your opinion as an expert. What would be the best course of action in that situation? I don’t want to feel “justified” for what I chose to do, but really want to know the best thing to do in such a case, just in case it happens again.
I would be deeply grateful if you gave me your opinion about this, since I don’t know any other expert in “real life” self defense.
I’m hoping you help me with this. Thanks in advance for your kind attention.
Best regards,
Joe
===============================================================
Hi Joe,
Based on what you’ve told me, you did EXACTLY what you should have… and what I would have advised you to do, if you’d asked my opinion.
You are right, a purse is not worth the legal and civil hastles and the risk of “making matters worse” by over-reacting to a property crime.
Your decision NOT to attempt to ram the robber (and risk hitting the victim”) was a good one. Deliberately ramming into someone with a vehicle is considered a deadly force response and can only be justified if you reasonably believe that it is absolutely necessary to protect yourself or someone else from death or a serious life-threatening injury.
Based on what you’ve told me, the situation was NOT a deadly force encounter and you probably would have gotten yourself into as much legal trouble as the robber if you decided to turn him into a hood ornament!
It would be a different story if someone was being attacked and severely beaten. It would have been different if the assault was of a life threatening nature. Protection of life is our highest priority. Protection of property is not.
In that scenario, the best thing you could do is notify the police and be a good witness. Make note of their physical description, license number and direction of travel so you can provide that info to the police when they arrive.
But to endanger your own safety, the safety of your girlfriend, the safety of the victim and even the safety of the “dirt bags” doing the robbery, is not worth the value of a purse.
Purses and contents can be replaced. People can’t.
Your reaction after the incident is a normal one. Even when you do the “right thing,” its common to second guess yourself and wonder if there is something else you could have done.
Your scenario about fighting to protect your girlfriend Joe is a good one. By the sounds of it, your decision to stand up to your adversary WAS the right thing to do… Some things in life ARE worth fighting for and others are not. Its important to know the difference.
Your actions were definitely not “cowardly” Joe. If you ask me (which I guess you’re doing huh? you made a reasonable and effective decision in a stressful and challenging situation.
I think you made a wise decision Joe. Good job.
Randy
==============================================================
Hello Randy.
Thank you so much for your answer. Your comments about the situation were really interesting, since I’ve always been in doubt about this issue since it happened. I was not only trying to see if I did well, but also to know what is the best course of action in a situation like this one, because its very probably going to happen again sometime in my life. I think that the only way to react correctly to a challenging (and unusual for me) situation is to know in advance what is the right thing and instinctively react based on previous knowledge (and gut feelings, of course). That is why I found your answer so useful for me.
On the other hand, you are right, in some way I was asking you if I acted cowardly As I told you before, a lot of people told me I should ram the guy, when I told them the story. They told me that was what they would have done in that situation. And maybe they would, but I always thought that those people are probably more prone to an “action movie” reaction. By the way, I have to tell you that I’m a latin person, living outside US (that’s why my english is a little deficient), and you know how temperamental we latins are.
I’m very glad to have read your expert opinion about this, and to be sure now about the right thing to do in a similar case. Of course you may post our conversation in your forum and/or newsletters or emails. If this case could be useful for more people, I’d be very glad. Just remove my name and email address, but you may reproduce the rest of the conversation as you please.
Its good you are writing an ebook on this topic. I think that is very important for people to know as much as possible about those situations in order to react properly. I’m a subscriber of your newsletter, so I’ll know when you publish it.
Thanks again for your answer, and have a good day.
Joe
===============================================================
OK, Now Its Your Turn…
Time for YOU to do some thinking… If you want to share the results with me, I’d be honored…It could have a direct impact on the content and direction of future articles and information products. If not, at least do this exercise for yourself.
Here’s what I’d like you to do:
Write out the single, most likely or worrisome self-defense scenario that you can think of. Nothing bizarre or off-the-wall, but something you legitimately think you could encounter. What is the “ultimate” situation that you feel sparks your interest in self-defense and personal safety? What one incident, do you want to be prepared for if it were to happen?
In as much detail as you want, spell out a threatening, volatile or violent situation (real or imagined) that motivates your interest in self-defense training.
This could be a hypothetical situation or it could be something that actually happened to you or someone you know.
Don’t worry about coming up with a solution or explaining what you would do about it. Not at this point any way. Just spell out as specifically and conceretely and you can, the ultimate situation your are preparing for.
Who is the assailant or how many are there?… Would the person be known to you or a stranger? Would you be alone or with someone who could assist you or might need your protection? What would the “predatory intent” be? (what does your assailant want from you?) Where would it be most likely to happen. What time do you see it happening?
You might feel that exercises like this are silly or a waste of time. Maybe its too much work! I can tell you this, if something does happen and you haven’t given it any thought… stress, confusion, and the “Fluster Factor,” WILL impact your ability to do the right thing at the right time.
Consider exercises like this the equivalent of “Self-Defense Fire Drills.” Just imagine what would happen if a fire alarm sounded and you didn’t have a clue what it meant or how you were supposed to respond.
Enuff Said.
Take care, train smart and stay safe…
Randy LaHaie
Protective Strategies
Randy LaHaie is the president of Protective
Strategies and has been teaching reality-based
self-defense for over 30 years. He is the author
of several “Toughen Up Combative Training Guides”
(http://www.ToughenUp.com)
Subscribe to his FREE SELF-DEFENSE NEWSLETTER at
http://www.ProtectiveStrategies.com
Posted in Way Out 
